OU Pride is honouring Transgender Day of Remembrance. Read on for a personal reflection from the Chair (Kit Renard) about the importance of the day, why Transgender Day of Remembrance exists, and how you can join a vigil in honouring the dead on this day.
Why Transgender Day of Remembrance exists
It was 25 years ago that Gwendolyn Ann Smith, Nancy Nangeroni, and Jahaira DeAlto gathered on a cold, bleak November day to memorialise murdered trans women Rita Hester and Chanelle Pickett. Things are undoubtably better now in many ways – they are worse too.
Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) is held on 20 November (the day of Chanelle Pickett’s murder) for our community to collectively grieve and remember those we have lost to transphobic violence. 41% of trans people have experienced a hate crime because of their gender identity. So TDoR is also a day to help people see the real cost of transphobia, to make us face the fact that these aren’t just numbers; these were people. They were siblings, parents, children, partners, friends. TDoR is a day where trans people declare that something must change.
You can learn a lot more about the history of TDoR and the ongoing violence our community faces – especially transfeminine people of colour – on the Remembering Our Dead website.
Personal reflections on Transgender Day of Remembrance
In 2023 I went to my very first vigil for TDoR. I had only come out as a trans man that February. Standing in the freezing November air, there was a powerful sense of grief and anger, but also community and togetherness. Despite being one of the saddest moments of my life, I was filled with hope. We as a community will always be there for each other, even if only to honour those taken from us too soon.
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I knew it was a candlelight vigil; that people would speak of those they had lost; that the names of our honoured dead would be read aloud. 2023’s list was one of the longest that had ever been – last year’s list of names was even longer. The number of deaths keeps rising. What surprised me the most was the feelings that being there brought up.
We were all there to grieve, of course, but I also felt a powerful rage. Every single death – every single person – is avoidable. These were people, not just deaths. They were beloved members of our community, even (or rather, especially) those who remain nameless – the strangers we will never have the chance to know. Every one of these deaths are avoidable. Transphobia kills.
Transgender Day of Remembrance is a difficult but important day for all trans people. It is the day we honour our beloved dead. It is the day we fight for their legacy, for those we have come together with, and for ourselves.
Vigils across the UK
If you are looking for spaces to come together with other people to grieve, vigils are being held across the UK and online. OU Pride is hosting an online vigil tonight from 6pm to 6:30pm. Please join us in honouring our beloved dead.